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You are in a very difficult position. No one wants to disrespect their mother, but how can you possibly raise your children in that environment? IF your mother were a stranger, would you allow this to continue?You didn't allow that with the children's mother, why is it ok for your own mother to do the same? I think it is time for you to stand up to her - as difficult as it may be.

I do understand your situation. Men - regardless of their race- have no rights in the justice system or social services in NY. The fact that you ( and other men) are taking responsiblity for your children should be given preferential treatment by the courts, not tossed aside, like the garbage their mothers are. 

Take back the kids social security cards.  You will need them.

Who's name is the lease/rental agreement in? If it is in your name, then you can have your mother evicted/removed by the courts if necessary. If it is in her name, you have a tougher battle.You will need to find another place for you and your children to live. Try HUD  - get on the list for subsidized housing vouchers and see if they can assist with public housing. I know it is not the best option, but it is better than your current situation.

Then go to modest needs , catholic charities, salvation army or 211 for security  & 1st month's rent - once you are approved. 

Also check with 211 for food pantries and other necessities while you are waiting. There are organizations locally that can assist with your basic needs. 

Once you are in your own apartment, you can re-apply for social services. including day care assistance and WIC - you should quailify for WIC because your daughter is 5 and your son is 1.Also apply for HEAP, TANF, food stamps and medicaid.

Also apply for child support - I do not know how that will work with the mom being out of state, but try anyway. You can get a free attorney - they are not the best, but they are free - to help - with any legal matters - if necessary. 

If the children's mother is on social security disability - the children may qualify as well. 

Also get your GED - you can do this online or in a local highschool - regardless of what you have accomplished this far, you will need it to obtain a good job to raise your children.

Social services or unemployment can help with job training and certification for computers.

I would also suggest Al anon or nar anon to learn how to beat deal with your mom.

You are too young to have this wieght on your shoulders, but you are doing very well. You should be proud of everything you have accomplished. By simply taking care of your children, you stand far above many who turned and walked away. It will be tough, but not impossible. You can do this! You have every right to be proud of yourself. In time, you will loook back on this as just a bad dream. 

i did apply two years ago for troy cohoes and in albany but ti called yesterday and they said i was still on the list i tried catholic charties and they dont consider this an eme situation, i applied for dss too no luck but my mom gets food stampsfor my kids and sells them off her card i told dss but they dont care andsaid that they were not going to give me a case/card and if i wanted my kids off her case to tell her to remove them. but thats expected just like the worldnot to care until something bad happen, hell my kids may even gethelp with me gone someone might feel sorry for them, but itsd not healthy to take so much shit over the years and hold it in but i have no one to talk to and even when i do its just talk i am in many programs but they dont do shit i am with preventive services as of now and all they do is try and give me rides to dss which i dont take, they don care either...

hey mr me i read your story and it made me feel the same as you feel because im in the same  boat you in i have a three yr old and with no income waiting for help just like you as i was reading your story it seem like why you waithing for help you also need someone to talk to talk to so if there anytime you need to talk to someone ill be glad to listen to you heres my email lesleycheley@yahoo.com when you get a chance write me and we will talk together about our problems may god bless you and your kids

You know, you really need to make a move, and i do mean away from your mother. That is a bad situation that you have gotten into.

I wish there was somthing that i could do to help out right now. 

New York is a hard place for a black man to succeed. I hate to say that, but it's true. You are going to have to be strong and be tough to pull through for you family.

Have you applied for TANF and food stamps? Government housing also? Use every resource that you can possibly find.

Then save anything that you can. Don't spend it. Tuck it away, and when you have enough saved, then go for it. 

im reminded every day being black is not an advantage, I get chewed up and spit out because im a single father people don’t believe it or just look at me funny or in disbelief when they find out im a single father  (I try not to tell anyone) and last but the most problematic is my age being 22 year old black single father is like magic to people their is either disbelief or confusion and I know first hand people don’t like what they don’t understand. If I was rich I would start as many single father programs as I can and make it a big deal that there are in fact more men that are single and with child/ren than anyone actually relies. The world ask fathers to stand up and take care of their kids, well some of us are doing so much more and only to be tucked away in a Conner and ignored. If some crazy single dad killed their child purposely or not it would be head lined national new maybe depend on the specks but the point is no one cares until there is a problem, I know I will come up with a plan so cunning none of us will have anything to worried about after that point but until then we must not fold, I have went hungry for my kids before and if your a single parent then you most likely have too but we live and that’s life. Help me help us what should we do?